Episode 3 – Recognizing We Always Have a Choice (The G.R.I.T. Podcast)

Episode Transcript

Welcome back, everybody, to the third episode of the G.R.I.T. – Give, Recognize, Implement, Time® podcast. Today, we’re going to get into the recognize piece. So, what does recognizing we always have a choice really mean? Really simply, that is that there always is a choice. And whether we see it or not, we do have a choice, and that choice is always going to be ours to make. No one can take that from you. There is a choice in front of us and in fact, many choices in front of us. And a lot of times it starts with the mindset because we can either really, truly let what does not serve us consume us. It can bring us down, cause us to spiral downwards, and be difficult to get out of, or we can embrace what does serve us. What’s going to help us get to where we want to go? That choice is always ours to make.

And part of the give piece that we’ve talked about in the last episode is embracing and acknowledging that, “You know what? I have both sides to me and that’s okay.” And in the moment when that non-serving happens, that’s a big part of the recognized piece is the awareness. Recognizing that this is happening and that’s okay because I have this choice to make. I can actively choose to not get flustered or to take that step back. I used the example of pulling on the leash for my dogs. And that is a common example for me, is dogs don’t necessarily understand that they don’t win, say, versus cars. If they’re maybe walking in and getting into the street, I can pull back on their leash and get upset and angry and flustered that they’re not paying attention. But I need that moment because it naturally comes up with like, this has happened again.

I need that moment to take that step back to breathe and say, “You know what? They’re dogs, they don’t understand.” That’s why we have leashes and harnesses in this world because they’re not necessarily groomed for the world we’ve now created where they have dangerous cars coming down the street. And then I am able to more calmly call the dogs back, get their attention, and get them to where they need to be, because I have that choice. I could choose to take that leash and rip it backwards and get the dog back or embrace that, “You know what? I am getting flustered because they don’t understand, but that’s okay because they’re dogs and I can take calming breath, call them back, and get them back to where they need to be, where they are safe without having to act in a way that I don’t like, because I’m recognizing I have that choice to make.”

And when we talk about this choice, what really lies underneath that is our mentality. Do we perhaps think that everything is happening to us, it’s all out of our control, there’s nothing we can do, or are there things in our control? There’s a key difference there between, say, a fixed mindset and a growth mindset where everything is just fixed the way that it is. I have a ceiling, can’t go past it. Or a growth mindset is really looking at the opportunities and challenges in front of me as that challenge to grow and continue to develop, and my ceiling is not defined. I can keep raising that bar because I’m capable of doing it.

You may have also heard this type of mindset described as a victim mindset or creator mindset. David Emerald writes a book called The Power of TED (The Empowerment Dynamic). It’s a great, easy read. I highly recommend it. If you go to my recommended reads on my website, you can find it. I am an Amazon affiliate so I do also get a small percentage fee for books purchased off my website, as a disclaimer. Feel free to look on it straight from Amazon as well, but it is a wonderful, phenomenal, easy read about changing our mindset from everything’s happening to me, to I am now in control and can make things happen for me. And when we talk about recognizing we always have a choice, that’s a key part of it is I can let that non-serving consume me and bring me down, believing that there is nothing that I can do, I’m not capable of changing it, it’s all out of my hands.

But when it comes to us as human beings, it is in our control. How I think, how I feel, how I behave, that’s up to me. I can embrace every part of me. And in the moments when the non-serving is starting to come up, I can make that choice to engage in what is going to be helpful for me. And another part of this choice is, what am I focusing on? Am I focusing on the problems at hand or am I focusing on what it is that I want to achieve? Because there’s a difference in not only that mindset, but what that mindset actually physiologically does in our bodies. When we focus on the problems at hand, it actually activates the nervous system that’s responsible for releasing things like cortisol, and getting us into this downward spiral and keeping us there, versus when we actually embrace what it is that we want to achieve, the solutions we’re looking for.

When we focus on that, we activate another nervous system in our body and actually uplifts us, keeps us going. Very similar to how exercise releases endorphins in our bodies that make us happier. Focusing on problems versus solutions actually has a key physiological effect on our bodies that can help us embrace the choice in front of us, and that choice that is always there. So, when we talk about recognizing we always have a choice, there’s an exercise that I like to share with you and I call it fork in the road. If we literally picture a fork in the road, there’s a Y in the road, we could go left or we could go right. What are those options? Maybe what we see right now is left. And what I’m challenging you to think of is, well, what is that choice? What is the road on the right?

And once we know what choices is on our left, that we see, we can easily figure out actually what the choice is on the right, because we can start with, well, what’s the opposite of what’s on the left? What’s on the left is what we see, what’s on the right is its complete opposite, and in between are all different possibilities and choices. So, it’s not just one choice or the other that’s there, there’s multiple choices. So, if you’re facing a choice or decision or not sure how to proceed, you can draw a fork in the road. On the left-hand side, we can call that, say, the non-serving, the negative, the stuff that perhaps we don’t want to do. And then on the right hand side, this is what’s possible. This is what does serve us. This is what we do want to do.

What is the opposite of the right and the left? And then in between, you can write as many different possibilities as you can think of because they’re there. That choice is always going to be ours to make, and that’s what recognizing we always have a choice really means. And it is always going to be up to us to make that choice, because it’s always there. If you have any questions or comments or anything of that nature, please feel free to post them, email me, direct message me. We’d love to hear from you. And I can’t wait to get into the implement part, which is coming up next. Thank you so much and I hope you guys have a great wonderful day.

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