Hello everybody. I’m Steven Nathenson, CEO and Founder of Strive For More and today I want to talk about the last part of the give part of G.R.I.T. Giving ourselves permission to be human and that is, it’s possible to overcome our struggles and the belief in the power that that belief has for us. We’ve talked about our duality as human beings, our nature, having ups, having downs, serving and non-serving parts to us. And it’s no different when we talk about struggles. There are things that naturally come easy to us, but there’s also things that can be difficult. Similarly, we can have things that reach the success we’re looking for and be successful. But sometimes we also missed that mark and that’s okay too. It’s part of who we are. Sometimes we do struggle and that’s okay.
And on that, I want to just make a quick note. We tend to think of things as successes or failures. But, I would love to shift away from that word failure and the reason why I do that is words inherently have a natural connotation for us. Just like when we talk about things that were negative. Oh, it’s bad, it shouldn’t happen, it should never be this way. Why am I this way? We can get caught in that negative downward spiral that doesn’t serve us. The word failure can do that, similarly for us as well. We shouldn’t fail. We should never fail. Should never have happened. It’s terrible. It’s bad. How did I even let that happen. That word can also trigger that same type of negative, non-serving downward spiral for us.
So, instead, I like to think of failures as not missing the mark, excuse me, not hitting the mark, missing the mark I mean and it switches my internal thought process because for me missing the mark was, you know what, I didn’t quite get there and it’s easier for me to accept and embrace that than it is for me to say that was a complete failure. I failed. There’s a more negative non-serving downward spiral for me that happens if I use failure or fail versus a missing the mark.
So, my challenge may be to you upfront is, with words that feel right for you, how can you start shifting your language internally to really embrace something that is more digestible and less negative, less non-serving because it is absolutely okay for us to struggle, to not hit the mark every single time. It’s part of who we are. And a great illustration of that is sometimes things that are really easy for us, we struggle with them and it could be because maybe I’m tired, I have a lack of sleep, and I’m not thinking clearly, or perhaps I’m completely distracted by something else going on in my life.
There’s many different factors that can come into play and create struggles or challenges, obstacles for us. And that’s okay it’s naturally who we are. We can’t be on all the time. We can’t be perfect all the time. It’s okay to naturally have that variation. So this concept of it’s possible to overcome our struggles is a key component of G.R.I.T.’s Give domain because it’s not just about believing there’s a way forward and there’s multiple ways to bring about, say what I want. Like, we were talking about last time on hope, even though they’re similar, we’re not always say, positively or servingly oriented. We do have struggles or challenges and obstacles in our lives.
And as I said, that’s okay to be a part of, of who we are. But it’s also important to believe we can overcome those. It is possible because if I don’t fundamentally have that belief, when I face those challenges or struggles come up, I’ll give up. If I don’t think it’s possible for me to overcome this thing that I struggle with, I’m never going to try to do it. It’s that just fundamental belief that will trigger the actions that we take and how successful we truly are in overcoming them. So, hope and believing we can overcome struggles really do go hand in hand and are fundamental mentalities for us to really embrace and harness so that we can achieve the success that we’re seeking.
So, to bring that out, awareness is one of the first greatest steps we can undergo to truly help us understand that. So I want to throw out a couple of ways of really characterizing our struggles in life. We can’t ask that question. What do I struggle with? But sometimes that’s maybe a little bit daunting. So other ways we can ask this question to us, to really create this oneness, perhaps what does not come easy for me? What is challenging for me? What do I have a hard time with? Again, back to the earlier part of what we were discussing with the connotation of words, it’s the same thing with questions. I may ask you a question in a way that doesn’t quite feel right or feel easy to answer and that’s okay because there’s many different ways of asking those questions and finding the right words that trigger that thought process and that continual pattern of here’s my answer. Oh yeah. But now I’m thinking about this and this and this and naturally kind of leads itself to greater awareness and understanding.
So many different ways to characterize what we struggle with. What do I struggle with? What does it kind of easier for me? What’s challenging for me? What do I have a hard time with? These are all great questions to really ask and unearth what our struggles are. And as we’ve created this awareness, it’s also important to acknowledge that you know what? It is okay for me to struggle with that. It’s a natural part of who we are. Not everything’s going to come easy. I am very athletically inclined, but one thing that does come in a difficult fashion for me is basketball. It is harder for me to shoot a basketball than it is to throw a baseball. It’s also harder for me to say shoot pool than it is for me to throw darts. They’re different skillsets. There are different uses of our muscles and that’s okay. It just says, you know what? I can get better at that. I just need to put more of an effort in to harnessing that because it’s a natural part of who I am, but I know I am capable and I can overcome that struggle. So that awareness piece, that acknowledgement of it, and then going beyond that and truly ingraining that belief I can overcome. That is a fundamental, important piece and the last component of G.R.I.T.’s Give domain.
So I’ll leave you with this question of “What’s your disposition?” Similar to when I asked “What’s your rhythm?” In terms of hope. Here I want to ask “What’s your disposition?” Am I already throwing in the towel when I perceive a struggle’s coming up? Do I maybe give up very easily when I’m faced with a challenge or an obstacle, or do I know I can overcome that when I face it? Yeah, it’s going to be difficult and challenging, but that’s okay. I can capable. I can do this. This disposition can really start unearthing. What is my natural mentality around the struggles I face in life right now, because when we know that and we understand it, we bring awareness around it. It’s easier for us to shift into what is going to serve us believing we can overcome the struggles that we face.
Anyways, when we talk about these two fundamental mentalities of hope and overcoming our struggles, we really start getting into the ingrained beliefs in ourselves and the self-talk that goes along with it and the things we can really talk ourselves into are very [inaudible 00:09:09], but talk ourselves out of, or even talk ourselves into believing. I can’t do math. I’m never going to be good enough. It’s not possible. This negative self-talk can truly dictate what I believe and if I have hope and I believe that it is possible for me to overcome those struggles. So that’s why we really, at the foundational core of G.R.I.T., get to this very early on is to help us really start shifting that mentality by shifting that inner self-talk by shifting the belief system and really embracing the beliefs that are truly going to lead to our success, because upfront I’m already knowing it’s possible to overcome that struggle and that challenge and that hurdle and the obstacle that I faced. I can do this. So until the next time, be the movement in your life.
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