Episode 12 – Accepting All Parts of Us (The G.R.I.T. Podcast)

Episode Transcript

Hello everybody I’m Steve Nathenson, CEO and founder of Strive For More, and today I want to ask you a question. Have you ever felt like no one else can understand what you’re going through? That I’m just completely and utterly alone and there’s no one who can help me? I can’t get over this feeling of being caught up in the struggle that I have and there’s no way out from underneath this for me? If you have, you’re actually not alone in that. That’s a common thing that happens to us as human beings. And this is actually one of the fundamental parts about giving ourselves permission to be human is embracing we’re not alone. Even if we may feel like we are, we truly are not alone in this world and what we face. There’s 7 billion plus people in this world. The likelihood that what we are facing has never been faced by anybody before, is not currently being faced by anybody now is incredibly small.

And that’s not to belittle that feeling because it’s a very real part of us to feel that way, to feel that we’re alone, we’re isolated, no one else can understand what we’re going through, they haven’t faced this struggle. These are natural things that come out. And I want to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. Because when I embrace that that’s part of me, then I can move past that. What we were talking about the last time, about accepting all parts of us.

Well let’s talk about what happens when we do feel alone. We tend to shut other people out. We discredit the fact that they can help us. We don’t think that actually they can help us. We don’t even seek their help. We essentially isolate ourselves. We can get down on ourselves. There’s no way out. The weight of this is too much on me. I’m overwhelmed and I can’t handle this. No one can help me. These things are very, very real. And I’ve been there just like you have at some point in your life. When we embrace that we’re not alone it alleviates this weight that we feel, this pressure that we’re living under, that we’ve put on ourselves because we think that no one else can understand or help us or guide us or help overcome this challenge, this struggle that we face.

When we embrace that we’re not alone in this other people can help, other people can understand, it’s going to help lift that weight off of us. It’s going to make it easier to talk to somebody, to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s going to help us focus on that path to help us overcome versus focusing on what keeps us there. The beauty in recognizing and embracing that we’re not alone opens up this greater world to our success because we then see it as possible. There is that way forward. Other people have gone through this and overcome it. And guess what? So can we. That’s the beauty in embracing that we are not truly alone in this.

When I feel that way though, it is part of our perception because I feel like I’m alone in this. I feel like no one else can understand, no one else has faced this before. It’s different. You can’t possibly understand this. It’s a perception that I have of other people, but we don’t know that. There’s parts of us that we don’t necessarily show to other people. So John or Sally may very well be struggling with the exact same issue that we are, let’s say confidence. You don’t know what this feels like to have this belief that I’m just not capable, that I can’t do this. What if they find out I don’t belong here? Imposter syndrome. There’s a name for it because it is that common. It all comes from this perception that we have of other people that they’re not facing what we’re facing. They can’t understand what that’s like to be say scared to step out on stage because we don’t perceive it from them. But we’re not up here. We’re not in their minds. We can’t read that. We don’t know what they face.

And the fact and the reality of us being human is that we’ve all struggled. Whether it’s confidence, whether it’s a certain skill, whether it’s asking someone out we find attractive, we have all struggled in various ways. There is commonality there between that even when we feel like we are judged or we’re persecuted. While that may be different for all of us in the way that it comes out or what we’re perhaps being judged or persecuted for, that feeling, that sensation that binds us together and we know what that feels like because at various points in our lives we have felt what it’s like to be judged and we can share in that feeling. And there are people out there who are like us. Whether they look like us, they have the same type of sexual orientations that we have. They have the same political beliefs that we have, there are people out there who do truly understand and can help and can share in that and open up to us and show us the path forward in that light. We really are not alone even when we think we are. There are others out there like us who understand what we are going through, who can share their stories with us, illuminate that path in front of us because we are all in this together.

That human condition is shared by more than seven plus billion people currently on this earth. That is what binds us all together. We are all human. We are truly not alone. When we feel like we are, we aren’t, but it’s okay to feel that way. Again, I’m not discrediting that or belittling it because it is a natural part of who we are to get tunnel vision, to not be able to see beyond that and to get stuck in what we’re facing and to think that other people can’t help us. But in those moments when I feel alone, can I ask myself if that’s truly right? Can I take that first step and open up to somebody? I may be surprised at what I find. I may be surprised at what they’ve gone through, what they can relate to, and how they can help me overcome what I’m currently facing.

And this shift happens inside of us when we recognize and we embrace that we’re not alone. We alleviate this weight we put on ourselves. We start breaking through the wall and the cracks form that let this light in that show us that there is a way forward. So in this moment, when I do feel like I’m alone, am I truly alone and can I ask myself if that’s really truly the case or are there other people out there that I can seek out and I can relate to and bring into the fold to help me overcome the struggle and the challenge. Because I’ll tell you the answer to that question. There is. You are not alone.

If there are people out there who make you feel that way, I will ask you if that’s a relationship you truly want in your life. Maybe they are not serving you. And it’s sometimes hard to embrace and to recognize that, but I guarantee you there are people out there who do and who have your best interest at heart and will help you overcome these challenges and these hurdles and these struggles. When we truly believe that we are not alone it makes what we want possible because it opens up giving ourselves support and the support of others to truly make it possible.

I say this a lot and I want to leave you with this today. If we never ask we’ll never know. If we never try we never will. Be the movement in your life. If I always think I’m alone I will always be alone because I will never be open to the help and the kindness of others or even believe that they can relate to me and help me. But if I recognize that I’m not alone and I take that first step, it opens up the world of opportunity and will truly help us get to where we want to go. Remember, if we never ask we’ll never know. If we never try we never will. Be the movement in your life and what you want will happen. You are not alone. There are other people out there who can help and relate to you. What we want is possible and others will help guide us there. Be the movement in your life.

 

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